10 Networking Mistakes and What To Do Instead
In the world of digitized job searching, networking is still of utmost importance - both in person and online. Job seekers who want to stick with doing it "the old-fashioned, honest way" by trying to apply for jobs without interacting with other humans are going to get a lot more frustrated and discouraged. Here's why:
Quick and easy one-click applying makes it easier for job seekers to apply to many jobs in a short period of time, but it creates a lot more work for employers to find the best fit. Candidates get drawn into the illusion of efficient job searching (i.e. "I applied to 100 jobs today! I don't know why I'm not getting any interviews!") while employers are faced with the task of sifting out many more irrelevant, under-qualified, or overgeneralized applications. Quantity doesn't equal quality, for either side. Plus ATS (applicant tracking systems) may weed out your resume before it even reaches a person.
Networking with real live humans seems slower and less attractive to job seekers because it's unpredictable and ambiguous, but it is so much more effective because employers are more likely to consider candidates they know, or who are known by someone they know and trust.
Most people I know dread networking and it’s not necessarily because they’re shy. I think it's because they have faulty assumptions about effective networking. Maybe you already know networking is important and necessary, but you're frustrated and confused why it isn't yielding results.
First of all, the very definition of networking is often misconstrued to be dirty and dishonest - "getting in through the back door." There is a clear difference between networking and nepotism. Try this on for size -
Networking (verb): To develop relationships of mutual benefit and interest.
Next, there are many factors in play, but make sure you're not doing any of these things:
Only asking for a job - This doesn't work for multiple reasons. Unless they have direct hiring power, they can't give you a job. If it's a new person you're talking to, why would they want to do you a favor while putting their reputation on the line? They don't know your skills, work ethic, or moral character so if they were to recommend you to their boss (which doesn't guarantee you a job anyway) and you turn out to be a poor fit, their boss’ trust in them is compromised.
INSTEAD - Ask for insights about the organization, advice for getting an interview, opinions about the leadership...any knowledge to give you an advantage in your job application process.
Only asking people you know directly - These are considered your "strong ties" - people with whom you are familiar and likely know similar information and resources. They are too close to what you already know and, despite good intentions, are less likely to give you new information or leads.
INSTEAD - Pursue your "weak ties," the people you met once and/or haven't talked to in years. Give a casual re-intro like, "Hey Bill! It's been a while! I see you're still working at ___. I'm looking for a new job and was wondering if you could tell me about your experience in the finance department?"
Only thinking of being a taker - Networking often feels dirty because it seems like you're just asking for favors. Please see the definition above...it should be mutually beneficial and interesting! You may think "What do I have to offer?" Well, it won't be a quid pro quo of equal exchanges.
INSTEAD - Offer genuine admiration and curiosity by asking about their life and advice, and offering relevant resources. Anything from restaurant recommendations to insightful articles to well wishes for their next vacation will help strengthen the relationship.
Thinking you have to love it to do it - As adults, we have to do many things that are unpleasant but necessary, like washing dishes and filing taxes. Networking is really no different. Don’t wait until you “feel like it” because you may never naturally want to.
INSTEAD - Set aside a time to do it regularly and find external systems of accountability if you just can’t motivate yourself to do it. Schedule it in your calendar, set up noise reminders, give yourself a reward, find an accountability buddy, or hire a coach.
Thinking extroverts are naturally better at networking - Extroverts may have less anxiety about meeting new people and enjoy it more than introverts, but effective networking comes down to building authentic rapport, which introverts can do just as well.
INSTEAD - Create genuine connections with whomever you reach out to, regardless of your personality type. If it’s the “cold calls/emails” that you dread, ask people you already know to introduce you.
Using the same scripted elevator pitch for everyone - No one likes receiving a generic sales pitch. If you don’t take the time to write an individualized message for someone whose time/expertise/attention you’re trying to get a hold of, why should they give you their precious limited resources?
INSTEAD - Craft a thoughtful message for each person that is clearly meant for them. People are much likelier to respond if you do some research first and know you’re not just broadly spamming strangers.
Thinking you’ve never done networking before - I guarantee you’ve been doing some kind of networking in your life. You just may not have thought of it as such because it wasn’t about the nerve-wracking, high-stakes process of job searching. None of us are an island; we all depend on others for our survival and growth.
INSTEAD - Think of it as practicing a new skill to benefit your professional future. You may never actually love it but the more you do it, the more comfortable you will become and the higher your chances of benefiting from it.
Giving up after not getting responses from everyone - People have different priorities and you will never get a 100% response rate no matter how good your messages are. Don’t take silence personally. Don’t expect to hear back from everyone you reach out to and be grateful for everyone who does respond, even if' it’s not directly helpful.
INSTEAD - Try to look for commonalities between the people who do respond in a helpful way and tailor your approach accordingly.
Thinking it’s a one-time conversation - Relationships aren’t built on a single conversation, although not every conversation needs to lead to a long-term friendship. Networking is a process that takes time to bear fruit and should not be done only for the few months you are job searching.
INSTEAD - Try to make networking a lifestyle by reaching out to your contacts periodically with updates about your life and inquiries on their life. There are helpful tools like scheduled emails so you can write them now to be sent out later.
Saying you’re open to anything (being vague) - People can’t help you if you are not specific about what you want/need because your request will quickly be forgotten. They don’t have the time/energy/interest to dig for your professional values and priorities; that should all be self-work that you’ve done before asking for help.
INSTEAD - Be very specific in saying what you are looking for and what you’d like their help with. If they say they do have a lead, make sure to follow up with them in a few weeks if you haven’t heard back.
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Can you get a job without networking? Technically, yes. Of course. Some people are lucky and have people coming to them with interview invitations and job offers. But for most people, getting good jobs they would want requires an investment of intentionally developing relationships of mutual benefit and interest.
